Eventful past few weeks

Hello and Good Evening!

It has been quite the eventful time in my life over the last few weeks. Our previous landlords required that we move out by the end of November, we had all of the money we did have in savings being used to pay off debt so that we could get a mortgage come spring, we didn't have another place to live, and I was in the hiring process for an office assistant position with a local pediatrics office.

On top of that, I was working on examining my eating lifestyle and receiving two of my three children's food allergy reports back (one of them has more food allergies than me!), and trying to get nearly 6 years worth of things packed up and ready to go. During all of this, I was dealing with extremely volatile landlords, who also happened to be our next door neighbor, and were destroying our personal property.

I had to remind myself on more than enough occasions that I needed to bite my tongue and that God would have revenge on them for me, so no matter what mean thing I could possibly think of to say or do to them, He could do it even better and save me from behaving in a non-elegant manner.

So, here we are, many weeks later, moved into our new rent-to-own house, having just completed my first day of work, and while physically exhausted, still have some more unpacking to do, in addition to the regular daily household chores to do.

It's a daily battle to go from not being elegant, to wanting to be dignified and with poise. I can understand slipping up every so often, but what's important is to realize the slip up and apologize for it immediately and sincerely.

So, that has been what I've been working on doing to start. To try to begin acting elegantly all at once seems quite daunting, and so, with everything else, if you start huge, one tends to become overwhelmed too quickly and easily, thus inevitably setting themselves up for failure. My task is one that I intend to live up to rather than to chalk up under the "tried and failed without looking back" category.

Yes, I will take baby steps if that's what I have to do...and then I will graduate to a toddler, and then pre-schooler, and so on, and so forth. It is the only way, aside from deep faith in God and His provision for His children, that I will be able to succeed.

I will try to keep posting at least once every couple of weeks until I really get into the new swing of things. Until then,

Have a Blessed Life!

Jennifer

Upcoming Changes

Hello Everyone!

It's been an extremely lengthy amount of time since I've written last. For that I apologize. I have some announcements to make though with regard to this blog.

The original idea behind this blog was in steps to becoming an Elegant Woman, Wife, and Mother. I intend to keep that same idea, but with some additions.

I will be making a weight loss journey type section of the site as well. I believe that it's difficult to be elegant when we do not feel comfortable in our own skins. I also believe that if we're not eating properly/healthy, then our family isn't either. While we may not have the ability to keep an eye on every single item they consume when they're not at home or with us, we can when they are with us.

This section will have updating on my statistics, as well as what I'm doing with recipes/meal plans/ideas in addition to exercising. It will incorporate the many things that I have tried and that I continue to do because of the success from doing them. It will also state things that I have read up on and that may work for members of my family.

I will also include what I'm working on with regard to my poise, fashion, makeup, and overall attitude.

I also hope to begin learning Spanish as a second language by the beginning of 2012. Not only does having knowledge in an additional language add "class", but it will also add marketable experience to my resume.

Also, as we are moving in the next couple of weeks, you can imagine the stress the entire household is under. Once we get into our newer temporary place, as we intend to purchase come spring, I will also add in ways to elegantly decorate.

I am using this situation, and the awful circumstances in which it is under, to force me into being the Elegant woman I aspire to be. I also am in great prayers that I will be able to use these situations to draw a closer relationship with Jessica, as well as the boys.

I hope to be able to begin the new changes by the 1st of December, 2011.

Simplifying for Elegance

Another way to begin the process of achieving elegance is by simplifying as much as possible. This usually breaks down to de-cluttering all parts of your life; household, office, email, etc. A couple great sites to utilize are The FlyLady, Freecycle (free membership required) and Home Organizing.

I have found the best ways to achieve this is to first get a few containers and a bag. A container should be used for items to keep, one for items to donate, and another for items that belong elsewhere (bedroom de-cluttering should have at least one more container for out of season clothing). The bag should be used for items that need to be disposed of and another container for those items that are recycleable. If an item hasn't been used in the last 6 months and is in good condition, it should be donated. In Ms. Giles book, she offers suggestions on what to do with gifts that were received but that won't be used.

Please only keep those items that are truly useful or very sentimental. I understand that this is quite difficult if one has children and wanting to keep all of their wonderful papers and projects, but perhaps only keep a couple of ones that truly have meant a lot - for the sentimental reason behind the item (such as a good grade on a project that was quite difficult). Perhaps even get the children in on it to help them decide what items to keep. Remember, any paper that has sensitive material (such as old bank statements, credit cards/bills, etc.) should be shredded and not just thrown in the recycling bin.

Once the decluterring has made a large impact, it is possible to then begin with the scrubbing. Get every nook and cranny possible. Believe me, it will make such an amazing difference. Also, make it a habit to wipe down cabinets on a weekly basis unless something has spilled prior to the wipe down, and always wipe down counters before and after any type of food preparation. This will help to encourage safer food prep. A great website for cleaning can be found at Just Mommies. While the title is "just mommies" any individual can use the monthly charts to help keep them on track.

While decluttering and cleaning have a large impact on keeping an elegant household, one must remember that her health is of utmost importance and the rest does not matter if she is unwell due to lack of sleep and improper nutrition. I say this as I am looking at the time and realizing that it is about an hour after I should have gone to bed and I do need the rest in order to get up with the children prior to school in the morning. I am going to try a little something new for them in the morning by putting out their breakfast dishes and cereal this evening. :)

I hope to be able to add more updates to my successes, and perhaps even my failures, on a regular basis. Until next time, I bid thee farewell.

Ways to begin working on Elegance

Speech is also one of those things that can be a double-edged sword if wielded by someone in a unpleasant mood. We must remember that words can often hurt more than physical pain. The golden rule could come in handy for this also. "Treat others as you would want them to treat you" could also be stated as "Speak to others as you would want them to speak to you." If we look at the golden rule in this aspect it puts our words in a much more different perspective.

I have a horrid habit of being verbally mean when I'm in a bad mood or if I've reached my limit. This is not fair, nor respectful, to the person that I'm am directing the speach toward, nor is it fair or respectful to those that hear it or about it.

From Candace Simpson-Giles' book How to be a Lady, she offers the following suggestions:

"A lady never curses in front of others,"
"A lady does not nag,"
"A lady does not raise her voice when angry,"
and
"A lady always thinks before she speaks."

I mention these ones specifically as they are ones that I am most often finding myself at fault for. As I am also trying to raise a young lady and two boys into gentlemen, this is not the type of example I want to express for any of them.

I have also been working on my posture as it is much more common, and a lot easier for a person to slouch than for them to sit, or stand, upright. Oftentimes we have become so accustomed to slouching that beginning to sit and stand properly tends to cause a bit of soreness and pain in our back. However, I must encourage you to continue with it. One of the best ways to keep oneself in check is to always have your feet placed firmly on the ground with ones hands in her lap. For those of us that are a bit more petite than others, this sometimes means that we need to sit a bit closer to the edge of our seats. While it may be a little bothersome at first, I can assure you, it is well worth it. Doing this also helps us to work on our inner thigh muscles as a lady does not cross her legs nor sits like a man.

Welcome!

It has been my desire for quite some time to bring some elegance into my life, for life, and as such, have made the decision to venture on the path of becoming an Elegant Woman, Wife, and Mother. During this time, I will also be working with my children in how to become proper gentlemen and young lady. I do not suspect that this will be easy, in fact, I do expect for there to be many learning experiences to be had, and am looking forward to chronicling these adventures.

The idea of elegance, however, can vary from individual to individual. According to Dictionary.com's definitions, Elegance is defined as "dignified grace, appearance, and behaviour, good taste in design, style, arrangement, etc." I believe that elegance is also in the way we speak and write.

Dignified grace I perceive as a noble quality of beauty. Not necessarily only outward physical beauty, but rather the way in which we hold ourselves. This moves into the "appearance and behaviour" portion of the definition. Keeping oneself neat and tidy, hair, nails, attire are all to be clean and without looking out of place or a muss. Keeping our posture straight and tall, even if sitting, avoiding slouching of any kind. Not only will focusing hard on keeping our postures tight give the air of confidence in oneself and situation, but it will also strengthen our core which will help with so many physical health areas including encouragement (or perhaps even the prevention) of weight loss.

One could be poor and still be just as elegant as someone who is better off financially. It is all in the way in which we hold ourselves, as well as the way that we speak to and about one another and others.

I believe that it's difficult to just do a lifestyle change all at once and so therefore intend on starting small and working my way up as soon as I am accomplished in one area or another. As such, one of my first tasks was to remember that I did pass English and had no difficulties in it, therefore, why should I speak any way other than properly?